sexual knowledge

In times of asexuality, pansexuality, or sapiosexuality, it is easy to get confused. But that's not all, because recently another word has appeared: demisexuality. What it is? We will explain in our article.

What is "demisexual"?

The term "demisexuality" seeks to encompass people who experience sexual attraction to others only after forming a deep emotional connection with them. A demisexual person is not capable of spontaneous sex with a stranger or frank flirting at a disco. He does not daydream about bed with a celebrity or people from a social environment who are perceived by others as very sexy.

A deep and time-tested close connection with one person is a prerequisite for the emergence of sexual desire, but not a guarantee of it. A demisexual person strives for intense acquaintance, high-quality communication, wants to feel protected and understood. It's more of a romantic interest than a sexual attraction.

How does demisexuality arise?

Demisexuality, like homosexuality, is not one's own choice. People were not specifically looking for a kind of sexuality, they were not convinced by someone and did not chase after fashion. It's just how they feel. This also does not mean that demisexuality was formed under the influence of affectation or the ascetic views of parents. It also cannot be construed as a reticence in initiating body contact in a relationship that is often interpreted as "very feminine". Because this supposedly feminine mode of restraint is in some ways a personal choice, not a sexual orientation.

When does demisexuality appear?

Already in their youth, in the process of becoming a person, people feel demisexual, but rarely meet with understanding. Their reticence, which denies promiscuous sex, seems strange to others. Often, many demisexual persons are not aware of their peculiarity, only then they realize that they differ from others in the search for an emotional connection, and not for "bare" physical pleasure.

Misinterpretation of other people

Many young demisexuals who have distinct sexual behaviors are considered cold or "late". Some demisexuals have already come to the conclusion that other people around the world also feel this way and can already call it a separate word. When they openly demonstrate their demisexuality, they are mistaken for arrogant or fictitious. Or they are told that they are too young to draw any serious conclusions about their preferences.

Difference with asexuality

There are people who do not experience sexual attraction at all and are not interested in sexual intercourse. They are called asexual. And since there are phases in demisexuality when sex does not play any role, it is perceived as a certain nuance of asexuality. Of course, among demisexuals there are differences in the appearance of sexuality. Some have sex, others don't. Some consider it good, others reject sexual relations. The variety of attachments and preferences here is quite large, so the concepts often overlap.

How to find a demisexual partner?

In the modern world, sex plays a big role, so it is not easy for demisexuals to find a person with the same ideas about relationships and intimate connection. The situation is complicated by the fact that the partnership can be long, and it is not known whether sexual attraction will arise at all. Not everyone is willing to wait.

Many hope that one day friendship will develop into a love relationship that can withstand long platonic phases. At the same time, they do not exclude hugs and caresses, which may well cause sexual desire and turn into sensual partner sex. Demisexuals know how to enjoy sexual intercourse if they really have a desire. Sex just for the sake of indulging a partner hurts them.

Why are concepts important?

You can get off with the phrase "There is no comrade for the taste and color", why are terms needed? They are really useless for ordinary, that is, “normal” things. However, if a person does not belong to ordinary heterosexuals, then there is a need to somehow name their preferences. For many people, new words make life easier and finding a partner is wonderful, because everyone has the right to happiness.