sexual knowledge

14 Mar| 23 Comments
Asexuality: when there is no desire

Is it possible to call a person asexual because he does not want to have sex? This question is asked by many women and even men. But the answer to it is not so simple, because there is no clear scientific definition of asexuality. However, it is still possible to recognize asexuality.

What is "asexuality"?

When a person calls himself asexual, it means that he is not attracted to any kind of sexual contact. Depending on his personality, sexual interaction is perceived by him as a terrible, boring or rather cute event, but not interesting to him.

Asexuality is not a disease. Asexual people live voluntarily celibate lives because they don't feel sexual desire. Only in some cases, the reason for the lack of interest in sexual intercourse is health problems, such as tumors or taking hormone-containing drugs.

When can I call myself asexual?

Since there is no clear scientific definition of asexuality, anyone can call themselves asexual if they consider themselves to be one. As with all sexual orientations, asexuality must be considered in the context of a person's life, writes the Aven asexual community (Axuality Visibility and Education Network).

Many asexual people take a long time to realize their peculiarity. This usually happens in adulthood. Up to this point, they often try different sexual orientations (for example, heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexual encounters). It is especially difficult for asexuals during puberty, because they are perceived by their peers as strange people.

Asexuals do not want to have closer contact with others at all?

This is not true. Some asexuals are emotionally attracted to another person. They want to forge a close relationship with him, but have no sex drive or desire.

However, they also have a strong desire for strong partnerships, as well as physical contact, limited to hugging, holding hands, stroking and kissing. But, of course, there are also asexual people for whom any form of physical intimacy with other people is unpleasant. Manifestations of asexuality are as different as any other sexual orientation and can change throughout life.

But do asexuals still have sex?

First of all, asexuality is characterized by the level of libido. Many asexuals have little to no sexual excitability. However, there are asexuals who masturbate but do not want to have sex with another person. Asexual people do have an aversion to sexual intercourse and therefore cannot participate in it. And if they do it under duress, they experience emotional and even physical discomfort.

Is it possible to have a relationship with an asexual person?

Of course, this is possible, although when one partner is asexual and the other loves sex, serious difficulties can arise. Most importantly, both partners are honest and open about their desires and requirements for the relationship. Otherwise, there may be strong tension, rejection, which will lead to the collapse of the union.

Fixed rules can help partners find a way to make the relationship happy together. For example, an asexual may please his partner with a handjob or allow him to have sex with another person. The asexual must specify exactly which touches are taboo for him.


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