sexual knowledge

Only a few people know this term, but there are not so few demisexuals among people. Most don't even realize it. But what does “demisexuality” mean, and by what signs can it be defined?

Demisexuality: without emotions there is no orgasm

Demisexuality is a sexual inclination in which people can achieve orgasm if they have previously established an intense emotional relationship with their partner. You might think that demisexual people can only have sex in a romantic relationship, but that's only partly true. Relationships naturally indicate a strong emotional attachment to someone, but demisexuality does not only mean romance: a sensual and spiritual connection with a partner is very important.

Demisexuality is considered to be on the spectrum of asexuality: not only do demisexuals find it difficult to achieve orgasm with casual partners, but they are simply not interested in contact with them.

Demisexuality is not a choice

Demisexuality is described as follows. Primary sexual attraction is based on immediately recognizable characteristics, such as appearance, voice, movements. Secondary sexual attraction is based, among other things, on features that must first be known, i.e. character, sense of humor, etc., it develops over time. It is believed that demisexuals know only secondary sexual attraction. And they didn't pick it on purpose. But perhaps certain factors influenced the transformation into a demisexual: life experience, education, changes in libido, and so on.

5 signs of demisexuality

The information page "demisexuality.org" has published certain signs that indicate whether a person is demisexual.

1. You are insecure about sex.

The site states that two-thirds of all demisexuals find sex disgusting, or at least uninteresting, and quickly lose interest in talking about sex. If you're demisexual, you probably don't masturbate often or at all. Or you enjoy masturbating, but you don't understand why another person should be involved in achieving orgasm. For you, sex is an expression of love and intimacy, not a means of satisfying physical desire.

2. You are not interested in things that other people are attracted to.

While other people talk about how sexy a certain actor is, demisexuals feel the need to get to know them first rather than rip off their clothes. Pornography, strip clubs and photos of half-naked men/women do not excite demisexuals. Most likely, they will find a dressed person more attractive than a naked person.

3. Sex? Of course. But with whom?

Someone who is demisexual is not really sexually inclined. He can watch porn and masturbate. But when it comes to the question of who he or she wants to be in bed with, it's hard to say anything definite. Because it is hard for demisexuals to voice the name of a person with whom they are ready to indulge in passion. And even at parties and clubs, they just don't find anyone attractive enough to go to bed with.

4. You find flirting absurd.

Why would you want to have a casual conversation with someone if you can't have a deep conversation with them? Flirting and superficial communication is absolutely not of interest to demisexuals. And when they go to parties or bars, they are often either stressed and annoyed by people who want to flirt with them, or they simply do not understand this and need to get at least a hint to clarify the situation.

5. Dating scares you.

The idea of going to bed with someone after a few dates is not only absurd, but even a little scary for demisexuals. Because in order to sleep with someone, you need to get to know this person well for some time. For many who are demisexual, it would sometimes be much easier to date their friends. After all, they are still very close emotionally. And in fact, it can happen that demisexuals feel attracted to their good friends.