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If you and your partner have been thinking about taking a walk on the wild side, you might have seen or heard a thing or two about strap-ons. No matter what your gender or sexuality is, a strap-on may be just the thing to make your nightlife a little spicier. However, when you begin your journey of pleasure, these bad boys may seem a bit intimidating if you don’t know much about them. And that’s completely ok!

If you have found yourself googling, "what is a strap on?" or "how does a strap on work?" you have come to the best place for all your questions to be answered. We are here to help you understand the “ins and outs” of a strap-on dildo and how it works. Then from there, you can decide whether it might be right for you, your partner, and your sensual needs. So, for everyone who has ever wondered how do strap-ons work, wonder no longer! Let’s dish the strap-on scoop!

What Is A Strap-On?

First of all, we need to establish exactly what a strap-on is for those who have not seen one before. A strap-on is an adjustable harness device that usually attaches to your pelvis and holds a realistic dildo where a penis would be on your body. You can wear one regardless of what you have going on in your pants, so strap-ons are available to men, women, and everyone in between.

Now, some of you may be wondering, why would someone who already has a penis want to use a strap-on? For some, erectile dysfunction can be a real downer in the bedroom, no pun intended, so a strap-on lets them go back to having sex the way they used to without needing any kind of medication.

For others, the ability to penetrate their partner anally and vaginally at the same time, or to give their partner double penetration in a single orifice, is an enticing possibility. Another option is called pegging, which refers to a woman using a strap-on and using the dildo to penetrate her male partner through anal play.

Because those with penises have prostates that are accessible for anal play, pegging is a fantastic way for a man to get down and dirty with his partner. Some are capable of orgasming with only prostate stimulation, although most people will need a helping hand or some other kind of penile stimulation to achieve an orgasm fully.

Important Parts of a Strap-On

There are two parts to a strap-on: the harness and the dildo. A harness is the strap part, and it sits around your hips. Most harnesses look like boxer briefs or panties, depending on your body shape and preferences. When learning how to use a strap-on, it’s essential to make sure that your dildo and harness are compatible because the dildo fits through an O-shaped opening.

The Harness

Some harnesses involve actual straps, which are often aesthetically pleasing and very sexy, but you will likely have to adjust the straps. If you are trying to put on a show, strappy is the way to go, but if you want to put on your very best strap-on dildo quickly for maximum spontaneity, you probably want a strapless strap-on.

It’s also important to remember that a harness doesn’t have to go around your pelvis. You can actually find harnesses that fit around your head, feet, chin, legs, or hands. The sky is the limit for strap-on technology, so make sure you find exactly what you are looking for to level up your harness play adventures. If you want to get fancy with things, go for it! Simply explore all your options, and we promise that you won’t be disappointed with your new sex toy.

The Dildo

The dildo is the artificial phallus. Again, you have tons of options for this, but we aren’t going to get into every one of those here. You can choose between substantial dildos, vibrators, and dildos that have a second penetrating limb to hold in yourself while you thrust. What mainly matters is making sure that your dildo will fit into the opening of your harness. Some harnesses come with interchangeable rings to accommodate different dildo sizes, but most have a single ring.

If the dildo base is too small, it will come out of the harness during sex, which will end up dampening the mood while you have to press pause on sexy time and try to reattach it. A dildo that is too wide simply won’t pass through the ring at all and can’t be attached to your harness. Either one can be immensely frustrating, especially if you don’t realize the problem until you are in the heat of the moment.

The Connecting Piece

You are probably wondering how the dildo stays on the harness in models where they aren’t connected. Don’t be alarmed, but the answer is sometimes glue. For a popular harness company, Vac-U-Loc, their products work with a type of powdered glue that you apply to make sure the dildo is firmly held in the harness and doesn’t come out, even if things get a little rough and steamy.

For other companies, the O-shaped ring is what holds the dildo in place. The metal snaps inside to hold the dildo steady and make sure that it doesn’t move no matter how steamy your erotic escapades get. It’s also good to know that positioning the dildo is essential and might take some practice before you get it right. Alternatively, you can go to a sex shop and ask an experienced clerk to show you how to secure the dildo in the harness when you buy it, so you’re ready for your next seductive romp between the sheets!

How Does A Strap-on Work?

Remember, when you are learning about your sex life, there are no dumb questions. While it may be evident for the person being penetrated that the strap-on works as an artificial phallus, plenty of people are curious about the giving partner. Does it feel like anything? What is the benefit of using a strap-on, and how does it work for both parties during penetrative sex?

The answer is simple: it doesn’t feel like a penis because it doesn’t have the nerve endings that a penis does. Instead, the penetrating partner can find their pleasure in other ways. For women, strap-ons are often designed to firmly press against the clitoris as they thrust, which allows them to orgasm by moving. There is also a fantasy element. Plenty of people like to incorporate dominance and submission into their sex lives, and strap-ons are an easy way for a woman to dominate her male partner.

That fantasy can be heady enough to make the whole process enjoyable for everyone. Some strap-ons also have vibrators or secondary dildos attached, which go inside the penetrating partner. That means that both partners can be penetrated simultaneously with some “oh-so-satisfying” vibration in the mix.

Another option for those with a penis is the hollow strap-on. These are usually best for people with erectile dysfunction or other similar problems, but it works exactly as the name implies. You insert your penis into the rigid, artificial phallus and go from there as if you had a normal erection.

What Can You Do with A Strap-On?

Ok, now let’s get down and dirty! Once you have your dildo attached and your strap-on is ready to go, you are ready to explore endless erotic possibilities through harness play. Depending on what you and your partner like, a strap-on can be used for:

Blow jobs

Vaginal sex

Manual sex

Anal sex

Masturbation

As noted above, blow jobs may not be on the top of your list because there is no sensation from the artificial phallus, but remember: it’s your fantasy. If power and dominance are a big reason why you and your partner are experimenting with a strap-on, there is a lot to be said for thrusting into their open mouth, even if you can’t feel it. 

Before you jump in and go crazy, though, there are a few essential things to take into consideration. For most people, strap-ons come with a small adjustment period. Sex positions that once seemed standard may feel unnatural, especially for people born without penises, when thrusting and penetrating their partner. The movements aren’t rocket science, but they are different from receiving.

They say that practice makes perfect, and it is true with harnesses too. It might feel embarrassing or awkward to practice various strap-on positions with your partner, but you can do it by yourself also. Putting on the harness and attaching the dildo is also something that requires a bit of manual dexterity. Hence, you definitely want to practice assembly before the situation calls for your night moves.

If you have a vibrator or double penetration dildo, try masturbating with it a few times before bringing your partner into the mix. Once you know what feels right for you, it will be easier to consider your partner’s needs. A big part of the pleasure comes from the feeling of control, and for that, you need confidence. Use it a few times to build up that confidence, and we can guarantee that your partner will thank you, in more ways than one!

In Summary

When you begin your strap-on exploration journey, you may not think that out of all adult sex toys, a strap-on is right for you, but hopefully, we’ve given you some informational and inspiring tricks and tips about them and their pleasure-filling capabilities. Whether or not you and your partner decide to go the strap-on route, it’s always useful to know about the possibilities in case you need to add a new element of surprise to satisfy your sexual appetite!